Have you ever heard, “As a man thinks, so he becomes?” (Proverbs 23:7) Well, Its true! Whatever you put into your mind will absolutely have great impact on your life and the quality of it. It affects your perspective on life, your predisposition towards life, and what you’ll attract in life. I’m currently reading a book by Joyce Meyer about this subject! I just felt led in my heart to write about the importance of having a healthy mind.
Sorry to say it, but we all have times in our lives when it can get quite hectic and brutally unpredictable (not the good kind of unpredictability mind you.!) You’ll be thrown curve-balls you weren’t prepared for, undefinable mishaps and tragedies, and good old heartache. This is life, and thanks to sin and free will, we often have to suffer its consequences.
I grew up with and also have developed a positive mindset. I knew that this life wasn’t going to be easy, and I also knew that somehow God still has His divine plans throughout the course of my life even though several things would come try to disrupt and hinder them from happening. You see, If you’re able to shift your perspective from, “why is this happening to me?” to “what exactly am I supposed to learn from this?”, you wouldn’t believe how much your life will change just from looking through that perspective!
Is it going to be easy? Absolutely not. Will it happen right away? Absolutely not! It’s a constant decision you’ll have to make every single day. It’s a choice to speak positive words to others including yourself. It’s a choice to listen to uplifting music every now and then to cleanse out any negativity or intruding thoughts that may be repeating themselves in your head. It’s a choice to cling to positive affirmations and throw out the lies that tell you you’ll never make it. It’s all a choice. Life isn’t just happening to you, you’re happening to life. Your story is constantly being written and played out for a plan and a purpose.
Many people walk around with wars going on inside of their heads, and we don’t even recognize or see it! It’s easy to feel like you’re alone on this, but let me tell you, that is far from the truth! The truth is, we’re all broken. We all need love and freedom from all of the nonsense that gets thrown at us whether it be spiritually, emotionally, or physically. We need to lift each other up, and watch the thoughts we allow to take residence in our minds and dwell on. I’ll end with this quote; “You cannot have a positive life with a negative mind.” – Joyce Meyer
I don’t care how tired I am at the end of the day, I stick to my routine without missing a single day. It not only feels good to know I’m taking really good care of my skin, but the results are groundbreaking as well! It gives me that extra boost of confidence.
In our fast pace culture, many of us think of a skincare routine as a hassle, or even a chore that you’re supposed to knock out before bed. On the contrary, I look at it as a way of life. I’ve recently adopted what’s called the 10-step Korean skincare routine, and ever since I’ve received dozens of compliments from women and men on my skin! I’m actually excited to do this every morning and every night; I look forward to it! Similarly to Koreans, I view it more as a way of life. It’s a calming, peaceful gesture towards yourself to ensure your well-being is relaxed, and refreshed. I go all out. So without further ado, here is my step-by-step routine!
1. OIL-BASED CLEANSER
2. WATER-BASED CLEANSER
3. EXFOLIATE (ONLY DO THIS 2-3 TIMES A WEEK!)
6. SHEET MASK (EVERYDAY OR ONCE A WEEK – UP TO YOU!)
Wow.! That’s all I have to say about the effects the Korean culture has made in the US and even worldwide concerning music, beauty, skincare, and wellness in general! They really know what they’re doing, and so should you!
There are numerous skincare lines out there that promise you clean pores, a radiant glow, no more acne, etc. When it comes to skincare, you simply can’t have a “one size fits all” kind of mentality, because it’s actually the complete opposite! There are different skin types, different textures of skin, and even different reactions to ingredients products contain.
I had radiant, clear skin from the age I was born to fifteen years old. When I hit sixteen, I would get random flare ups of acne quite often. It wasn’t terrible, just a few spots here and there, but it still made me mad! I tried several different skincare brands and nothing was working. Then I would buy the cheap acne spot treatment cream from Target that dried the hell out of my skin and made it look dryer than the Sahara desert!
It was near the end of 2017 when my beautiful sister Gillian introduced me to K-beauty! We would watch endless Youtube videos of a woman named Charlotte Cho; founder of the Korean beauty retailer Sokoglam. She would show her skincare routine, and give tips and tricks to achieve better skin. I was hooked!
I then purchased what’s called a 10-step routine. Let me tell ya, my skin has never looked so radiant and pure! I’ve even had people tell me that I’m glowing, and asked what I was using! It not only changed my skin, but it made me feel simply amazing knowing that I was taking great care of my body by investing in products that promote moisture, healing, and nutrition. Definitely worth a shot! 🙂
You can’t fill someone else’s cup if yours is empty.
We live in a fast pace culture whereas it can be difficult to find five or even ten minutes to just breathe! I get it, we need to keep the house clean, we need to make money, we need to keep going to keep going. It’s admirable to have a good work ethic in everything, but when is the last time you’ve truly taken time for yourself? How do you speak to yourself? How do you think of yourself?
It’s so important to take time out of the day to care for yourself in whichever way suits you best! Life can sometimes make it tough to keep a smile on. You may work with people who love to suck the energy and positivity right out of you. Maybe you just haven’t been feeling yourself lately for whatever reason. In the midst of it all, remember that you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, and you should reward yourself to keep going! Practice self-love. I simply can’t stress enough just how beneficial it is to truly care for and nurture yourself.
I’m still very young, but thankfully I grew up in a positive and encouraging environment that I’m forever grateful for. My parents repeatedly drenched me in affirmations to the point where I started telling myself the same things! This was not out of pride or arrogance, but simply the fact that I started to look at myself in a positive light. I want everyone who is reading this to come to the point where even in spite of knowing your flaws and insecurities, you accept and love yourself.
It can be difficult to truly lift and encourage others up to full capacity if you yourself aren’t encouraged; hence my very first sentence at the top! If you aren’t sure how to care for yourself, I’ll give some examples that you can start to practice! Remember that it’s a journey. Self-love typically doesn’t happen overnight, but there are steps that will bring you closer.
Read a book you like!
Watch your favorite movie!
Go to a coffee shop and chill!
Clean your house / get organized!
Read God’s word, and talk to Him!
Call your friends up and get together!
Light a beautifully scented candle you love!
Purchase tickets to see your favorite artists!
Put on a face mask! – The best feeling in the world.
Update your wardrobe / look and splurge on yourself!
Tell yourself that you’re beautiful and deserve the best.
Listen to podcasts / music / vlogs that make you feel good!
Take a nice walk outside and take time to appreciate nature!
Write down five things you like about yourself- can be anything!
Make a list of everything you can think of that you’re grateful for!
Brew a cup of tea- you know those teabags that have little positive quotes and encouragements on the paper attached to the string? I love those!
Millions of songs are written about it. Countless books, magazine articles, and *ahem* blog posts are being written every single day! You’ll most likely experience it in one way or another in your life. It doesn’t always have to be about a person! It could be as simple as losing a pet, or losing a dream you’ve had for so long that doesn’t seem to touch the surface of reality. Whatever it is, heartbreak is heartbreak- no matter how “small” or “insignificant” it may seem to others. If it matters to you, it matters!
The most common form of heartbreak however is typically over person you really cared for, or even loved- (there’s a difference).! Maybe they didn’t reciprocate the same feelings. Maybe you two changed over time and drifted apart. Maybe they fell in love with someone else. Maybe they just chose to take an exit from your life without explanation. Whatever the reason, it still hurts! Like a lot a lot.
Now the thing I HATE most is when you’re going through a really hard time, and the people around you say, “It’s gonna be okay, you’ll find someone else, God still has a plan, in time you’ll get over it.” I CANNOT stand these words in the midst of the pain, because honestly in my opinion our minds aren’t working properly while trying to process and figure out what to do with all of this emotional stress and hurt. I only speak for myself, but if I’m going through a really tough time, I will block out every single person who tries to comfort me with words that people feel obligated to say because they don’t know what else to say.
So I’m going to be honest and tell you the truth, k ladies and gents? Depending on how deep the wound of your heartbreak is, and the story behind it, results may vary! First off, you might start playing out in your mind how everything went down, until it’s stuck on loop- just like your feelings you probably still have for this person. You might convince yourself that you’re better off without them, but then an hour later you can’t stop thinking about how much you miss them and want them all to yourself. You’re not gonna want to get out of bed sometimes. You might try to replace them with somebody else only to find that when you wake up, you wished it was them laying beside you instead. You might start to feel like you got played and toyed with. Certain songs or movies that connected the two of you will suddenly start to play at your work, or the grocery store, and you might get a little triggered! You might start thinking of all the things you should have said or done differently that could have possibly changed their mind. You might explain your pain and say the same exact words to your close friends until you sound like a broken record. You might make the saddest playlists on the planet. The pain might be so intense that you can barely breathe, and you can feel it in your chest. The dream you saw of the two of you being together is now torn a part, and you don’t want to believe it. You might cry a lot and ask what you’ve done to deserve this. You are going to hurt for what will seem like forever. You may even tell yourself that you don’t want anyone else, and you’d rather be alone than without the one you love. It may hurt for months, it may hurt for years. And that’s okay. It’s all okay.
Please please please, don’t think that anything is wrong with you for feeling these things, because if we saw half of what happens behind closed doors, we probably wouldn’t think we were crazy anymore. We’re all human, and we all handle great pain differently. Don’t ever judge anyone else and most importantly, yourself for feeling all of these things. You need to feel it, no matter how much you may wish you could go numb. Let me tell you, going numb is actually much worse than any measure of pain that you could experience. In time, it will make you a stronger, more experienced individual.
Now it happened. So you have to deal. People talk about how you’ll be okay, but not the steps you might have to take to get there, so I’ll give some suggestions! Write a song or a whole album even. *ahem Taylor Swift.* Take long walks with good music. Make personal videos explaining your story and how you’re feeling/what you’re thinking. Pray and cry out to God, and ask Him to heal your heart. Sing your heart out. Confide in friends who have your best interest at heart, and who will keep listening to you say the same thing over and over again. Take good care of yourself, and make an effort to always look good even if you still feel like shit. Don’t jump into a relationship with someone else, because that will most often hinder your healing. Type documents that only you can see expressing your raw self, holding nothing back. Make playlists filled with music that stimulates your mind, and lets you know where your heart is at. Watch sad (or) happy movies with ice cream, pizza, and maybe a few drinks. (I don’t recommend getting drunk, you don’t need to wake up feeling worse about yourself, okay.) Forgive the other person, as well as yourself. Be friends with the idea that you might always have feelings for them, and that’s okay. Give yourself time to heal, and love yourself always.
Listen, I don’t care if you have to do all of these things ten thousand million bajillion times! No one can judge you, because they haven’t experienced what you have. Don’t let anyone hinder your healing, It’s good to get it out somehow- especially if you can no longer contact them and express your feelings and pain to them. In all honesty, you’re unique and can’t be replaced. Maybe they weren’t the right one for you. Maybe the timing was no good. Maybe you have some growing and learning to do before something real really happens! Maybe the other person has some growing and learning to do! If you’re not ready for it when it comes, you will lose it. Trust in the process, and know that your time will come. My pastor always tells me that whatever is meant to be yours will be yours. I’m still working on believing that, but I do know that God loves you too much to not give you His best. Just ask for His will to be done, and don’t rush into anything that isn’t meant for you.
You wear the finest jewelry, but it’s not about you.
You have a six-figure income, but it’s not about you.
You have the latest technological devices, but it’s not about you.
You have the most followers on social media, but it’s not about you.
Can these things ever replace the internal peace and joy that comes from seeing someone’s face light up from the love and hope you gave them? Can these things replace the warmth inside your heart when you gave to those in need? Could these things alter your mind into believing that you “need it all” to “have it all”?
Now let me clarify; I’m not at all against any of the things mentioned, but it is important to look at our hearts and remember why we’re really here. What is it you want to leave behind when you leave this earth? A beautiful house is great. A nice car is cool. An abundance of wealth for your kids and grand-kids is ideal. But you know what’s even better? Leaving behind a legacy of someone who greatly impacted the lives around them, PLUS those extra material things! Why should you have to choose, right?
Having nice things in life is such a blessing, and they’re meant to be enjoyed! Just as long as you don’t get caught up in the selfishness and materialism that these things can stir up inside of you. There’s so much more to life.
I just love the movie Evan Almighty! It perfectly depicts how God can repeatedly throw what most people would call “signs” in our faces to grab hold of our attention, yet we still choose to call it coincidence. I’m not one to question whether or not coincidence exists; but in my experience, it rarely does!
Now let me just state this, I am in no way at all the type to think that “everything means something”, alright. Chill. On the contrary, I’m actually the skeptical type to ask several times in several different ways if a particular reoccurring subject has any meaning to my life, and if so, what it means. Again, not everything means something! However if a name, number, or even a person keeps popping up repeatedly in your life without you looking for it, then yeah, I absolutely believe it could mean something more.
This is where you need to take a step back and breathe. Of course you’re going to notice a red pick-up truck everywhere you go! You’ve now connected a specific object to a possible notion in your brain that could confirm that this person or situation is meant for you. That’s where people tend to think that everything means something, but that’s just not the case! Living that kind of life pattern can actually be dangerous, because if things don’t turn out the way you thought, it could lead to major confusion! And you all know what I wrote in one of my previous posts about confusion! – The Time I Should Have Said No
Now this is just an example. Personally, I’ve had stories quite similar to the one above, and there have been many times I felt like my life was legit/no joke the movie Evan Almighty! If you haven’t seen it, go watch it, It’s hilarious! I mean come on, it’s Steve Carell! Anyway, every time I’ve had several strange occurrences thrown my way, I would always tell myself that it was “coincidence”, until it happened so many times where I finally asked the same thing as Justin. “God, what do you mean?”
Truth is, God cares about every single detail in your life. That being said, why wouldn’t He show you His perfect will and plans for your life? I’m not saying that this is only way He speaks, but I am saying that it’s important to pay attention to re-occurrences that seem too strange and repetitive to be merely a coincidence! So just chill, live your life, and be open.
You’ve finally found the one. Your heart pounds outside of your chest whenever they’re near, and it’s as if someone has shed a light that you’ve been searching for quite some time now! They’re perfect. Your playlists subsequently turn into perfect love songs, and you’re on cloud nine! …Until reality sets in. Time passes, the honeymoon phase is over, and those little tiny annoying habits and quirks that you never knew about begin to surface.
He neglects to put the toilet seat down and leaves it up no matter how many times she tells him not to, while she isn’t very organized and likes to leave things laying around. Now where did these things come from? They weren’t there before?! Hate to break it to you, but they absolutely were. The more comfortable you become with someone else is typically when you slowly let down your walls that cover up the not-so-hot parts of you. These walls only display your best features for the most part. You know, the ones you automatically put up when you first started dating?
While little habits like leaving the toilet seat up or leaving a mess may be easier to fix, traits that have been internally developed over time are not. “Why can’t he be more affectionate with me? Why is she so stubborn? I’ll bet I can change them for the better.” WARNING!: that is a very slippery slope you do not want to ski down my friend – so take off your snow boots, pop a squat by the fire, and listen. When it comes to inner turmoils such as feeling incompetent, problems displaying affection, etc. you’re dealing with something totally outside of your hands. These things are like breathing. You’ve been doing it so long that it becomes second nature to you.
It can take a whole year to be at that place where you know what makes him feel appreciated and desired exactly the way he wants it. It may take a whole decade to get to the root of why she still has trouble trusting 100%. Movies and social media have really sensitized some people into believing that if any deep issue comes up, it means that there’s something terribly wrong and you’re doomed to fail whereas in reality, the issues are not even half of the problem! It’s all about how you better deal with them without judging or making the other person feel anything less than loved, accepted, and chosen.
Simply put, we’re not perfect. We all have our own little habits and defects we need to work on, but something that’s been with you for a long time doesn’t just suddenly disappear all because someone you love brings it to acknowledgement. I am in no way justifying anything, but I do want to remind you to have patience and grace with one another, because there will be plenty of times where you’ll also need grace. Lift each other up, and always encourage. You’re a team.
1 Peter 4:8: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
I remember my mom telling me stories about how she would come home from work only to hear the sound of a six-year-old me stomping around the kitchen in her high heels that barely fit around my feet. Ever since I was a little girl, I was always trying to grow up too fast. I mean for goodness sake, at five years old I had already been talking about how I would meet my prince soon and get married! And I meant it too. Needless to say, my head was always in the clouds, and my heels were going in whichever direction they pleased.
Leaving a familiar, comfortable place and venturing out into the great unknown is something I’m very accustomed to – and something I actually enjoy! It’s funny because I’ve lived in the same house all of these years growing up, yet I was moving all of the time! For example – I’ve been to two different grade schools, and three different high schools all because I was either curious or bored. The first was a private school, the other a school for performing arts, and lastly a good old public school. The ability I had to adapt easily to new changes and circumstances played a very pivotal role in preparing me for what was coming my way.
Minnesota is my home state, but I knew ever since fifth grade what I would do after high school, and exactly where I would be. I told all of my elementary buddies that I was moving to California to study fashion design. Not a single one of them believed me, until the summer of 2016! I had just turned 18 a couple of months prior, and I was beyond ready to get the heck out of that place and be on my own! I graduated High School on June 8th, and moved to Los Angeles June 24th.
I found it absolutely hysterical when people were shocked and appalled that nobody in my family was moving with me, because I was “way too young and naive to be on my own.” To their surprise, I survived. I arrived knowing absolutely nobody in Los Angeles, and I loved it! Even my roommates were randomly assigned to me by the school I was attending, so I didn’t even have a choice to be with someone whether I knew them or not!
I remember taking hours of walks in places where I had no idea where I was going, let alone how I would get back to my own apartment! From wealthy neighborhoods to skid row, ocean to mountain, you can believe that I saw a great deal of it! I would take random train rides to cities and beaches I never knew existed – and to my surprise I always found my way back home without a GPS! Can I get an award or something?
Needless to say, It was one of the most beautiful, nerve-wracking, and exhilarating experiences I’ve had. Yes, I missed my friends and family like crazy, but I did manage to make new members on my own as well! Were there times I felt alone? Of course! But I’ve never been afraid of just me, myself, and I. Sometimes you need to travel to new places to find out what you really want in this life, and sometimes it’s best if you do it alone.