You see it in movies, you see it in magazines, and you want to experience it whether you’re aware of it or not. You simply desire to be accepted for you. The real you. The stinky breath in the morning, far from perfect, sometimes disorganized, messy hair with a cup of tea and a stained T-shirt type of you. And you’re beautiful.
Now that’s just reality folks! We don’t always smell of lilacs and roses 24/7, and we certainly can’t rely on our trusty pillow and arbitrary sleeping patterns to ensure we wake up with hair that’s effortlessly Kardashian approved. But it’s the constant imperfections that remind us we’re merely human, and that’s alright.
Growing up I had a lot of encouragement and affirmations from my family, people from church, and close friends. However like almost everyone, I was also teased about certain things. “You’re too skinny. You’re dumb because you can’t solve simple math equations. You’re so forgetful.” The list went on and on! For a little bit I actually started to believe the lies, but then realized that God made me who I am for a reason. So I thought, take it or leave it, this is me!
We all have our own weaknesses, and should always be improving ourselves. I realized that as long as I accepted myself for wherever I’m at with a willingness to get better, that’s all I need. I made the decision to love myself- flaws and all. And so should you! I felt extremely more confident when I shifted my perspective, and I also made a few other adjustments to my daily lifestyle. So I want to share them with you in the hope that you’ll become more confident too!
- Know Your Weaknesses & Embrace Them: This is the first step I took to becoming more confident. Everyone you encounter in this life has something to teach you; whether that be insight on yourself as an individual, or just a lesson you’ll need for later. When you know your weaknesses, you’ll know what to target and work on. Enjoy the process! The journey is only as good as your perspective and ability to love your imperfections.
- Know Your Worth: Are you aware of how amazing and intricate you are? Nobody has ever been like you, and no one ever will be. You owe it to yourself to claim your worth and start living like you’re a man/woman of value. Walk with your head straight even when you feel like hiding. Look people in the eye while talking to them even when you feel shy. Remember to smile!
- Let Them Go: Yes, them. You know, them? Those pesky little reminders that pop up every now and then to try to steal your joy? Every single hurtful word spoken over your life that bears no fruit of positivity or progression. Every single lie, criticism, and negative opinion of you; let them go. Brush it off and move forward. Life does not get easier my dears, so you’ll need some thick skin if you’re planning to survive.
- Learn To Be Happy Alone, & Wait For What You Deserve: This is not coming from a place of bitterness or cynicism. I’ve noticed that I absolutely love being by myself! It is possible to find peace, purpose, and happiness in solitude. When you come to realize that you can be truly happy by yourself, your confidence will go through the roof. Why? You’re not dependent on anyone. It actually raises the standard for what you TRULY deserve when it comes to finding a life partner. You see, when you’re dependent on something/someone, you may not care about the quality or value. You may just take whatever you can get as long as you aren’t alone, and that is very scary. You don’t need someone to complete you or be whole.It’s about wanting to be with someone, not needing. Understand the difference. Live life, build your assets, and let God choose and present someone who will do life with you and make it ten times better!
- Take Care Of Yourself: I’m talking inner and outer here people. Take up new hobbies! Do whatever lights your fire to the best of your abilities. Talk to people and become a more well-rounded individual. Learn to be gentle with the way you think, talk, and respond to yourself. When it comes to outer appearance, try to look your best every single day, even if you’re exhausted and just going to the grocery store! This may sound excessive, but it always works for me. Simply put, put some care and thought about what kind of message you’re subconsciously sending to the world. Stained clothes, messy hair, and dark circles say, “Hey, I dress in the dark, I don’t take care of myself, and have no real confidence or self-esteem.” Please, don’t. Just don’t. You will thank me later, I promise.
- Stop Caring What Others Think Of You: Oh. My. Goodness! I can’t express how tired and annoyed I get at myself whenever I start to actually care about what others think of me. Listen, if you live your life to please everyone around you, you might as well be dead because you won’t be living the life you’re meant to. I thankfully learned to stop caring what others thought a long time ago. With my being the blunt person I am, I just didn’t see the point of it. Have I said or done some pretty crazy things because I felt it was necessary? Absolutely! Was I ever scared or worried what people might think? At first, yep. After a few minutes, nope! At the end of the day as long as you’re true to yourself and following whatever you feel is the right path, say what you need to say. Do what you feel you need to do. Who cares! Stay true TO YOU. That’s all that matters.
Above all else, just love yourself the way you wish to be loved. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Don’t give up on improving yourself, because no one will push you to be the best version of you except YOU.!!
~ Xo, Rachel.